Thursday 21 September 2023

Dealing with your partner's bad hygiene habits



Consider a scenario where a couple is going on a date. The man has a strong, unpleasant body odor that fills the car due to the air conditioning and closed windows, making it difficult for the woman to breathe. Alternatively, imagine a man trying to embrace his partner, only to discover that her hair is dirty and greasy, or her blouse emits a strong smell of mustiness.

Initially, these may appear to be superficial issues that can be overlooked, but when they become a recurring pattern, they often elicit a feeling of revulsion from the other person. That's why poor personal hygiene is often a deal breaker in relationships for many individuals.

Personal hygiene encompasses practices such as maintaining good oral health (clean teeth and fresh breath), having a clean and fresh body, regularly washing hands after using the bathroom or touching dirty objects, and keeping fingernails clean.

Apart from protecting one's health by preventing the spread of infectious diseases, personal hygiene also enhances one's social interactions, while a lack of it can lead to isolation and loneliness.

According to therapist Kurt Smith, as quoted in HuffPost, "Poor hygiene can significantly impact relationships. It can affect physical attraction, intimacy, and communication, becoming a source of regular conflict. Ultimately, it can impact the level of connection and love between a couple."

Fashion designer Bidemi Abejoye shared an experience where poor personal hygiene became an issue when she started dating her fiancé. She noticed that he hadn't taken a shower during the few days she spent at his place. His strong body odor made her feel disgusted whenever she got close to him. After repeatedly asking him to shower without any change, she ended the relationship. This incident prompted him to take his personal hygiene more seriously.

Another individual, Olawale Lawal, a father of two, found it challenging to be intimate with his wife when they first got married. He discovered a foul fishy odor and discharge from her private parts, which repelled him. She also had bad breath, making it difficult for him to kiss her. He addressed the issue by discussing it with her, and she sought medical attention to treat the infection causing the odor. They resolved the problem and it no longer affected their marriage.

Mabel Udoh, a physiotherapist, had a similar experience with her partner's poor personal hygiene. She noticed a foul smell emanating from his kitchen and discovered unwashed dishes and a messy bedroom. Additionally, she encountered a strong odor coming from his behind while giving him a massage, indicating a lack of proper cleaning after using the restroom. These hygiene issues led her to end the relationship, as she didn't want to continually take care of a man older than herself.

Marriage counselor Esther Banwo emphasized the importance of understanding the root causes of poor hygiene in order to find solutions. She mentioned that personal hygiene habits can be influenced by one's background, social factors, medical conditions, and mental well-being. Couples should address these issues before marriage and see each other beyond their dressed-up appearances.

Poor personal hygiene can also be linked to depression, as individuals struggling with depression often lack the motivation and energy to perform basic hygiene tasks. Clinical psychologist Melissa Jones highlighted this connection and emphasized the role of mental health in personal hygiene.

Relationship counselor Mathi Surendran discussed the significance of personal cleanliness in a married life. She advised couples to maintain good personal hygiene habits, such as regular bathing, grooming, and wearing clean clothes. She emphasized that personal hygiene contributes to marital satisfaction.

Dr. Richard Okonkwo, co-founder of Keeping Marriage Alive Initiative, suggested practical steps for couples to improve personal hygiene. These include eliminating body and mouth odors, taking showers, wearing clean clothes, and maintaining a clean and tidy living environment. He also mentioned the importance of creating a pleasant and intimate atmosphere in the bedroom.

Guidance and counselor researcher Dennis Odaibo stressed the need to combat passivity when it comes to personal hygiene. He emphasized that changing bad habits requires an active mindset and the willingness to take responsibility for tasks, such as doing the dishes or taking out the trash.

In conclusion, personal hygiene plays a crucial role in relationships. Poor hygiene can lead to physical and emotional discomfort, conflicts, and a diminished sense of connection between partners. It is important for individuals to prioritize personal cleanliness, address any underlying issues, and work together as a couple to maintain good hygiene habits.

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