Can a Relationship Survive Infidelity and Regain Trust?

Infidelity is one of the most challenging and painful experiences a couple can face in a relationship. The breach of trust and feelings of betrayal can seem impossible to overcome. However, research shows that in some cases, it is possible for a relationship to not only survive infidelity, but to rebuild the trust and intimacy that was lost.

The Path to Forgiveness

The first and most critical step is for the partner who was unfaithful to take full responsibility for their actions. They must acknowledge the pain they have caused, express genuine remorse, and commit to re-earning the trust of their partner. This means being completely transparent about the infidelity, cutting off all contact with the other person, and demonstrating through their actions over an extended period of time that they are dedicated to the relationship.

For the betrayed partner, the journey to forgiveness is extremely difficult. They must be willing to engage in the painful process of working through their feelings of hurt, anger, and loss of self-esteem. Counseling can be invaluable in providing a safe space to work through these complex emotions. The betrayed partner may also need time and space apart from their partner to decide if they are able to move forward.

Rebuilding Trust

Once both partners have committed to the relationship, the hard work of rebuilding trust can begin. This requires immense empathy, patience and communication on both sides. The partner who was unfaithful must be prepared to answer any and all questions their partner has, no matter how painful, and to understand that it may take years for that trust to be fully restored.

The betrayed partner, in turn, must be willing to be vulnerable again and to look for evidence that their partner is genuinely changing their behavior. This may involve setting clear boundaries and expectations, regularly checking in on progress, and learning to tolerate the inevitable moments of doubt and insecurity that will arise.

Strengthening the Relationship

Ultimately, for a relationship to not just survive but thrive after infidelity, both partners must be committed to doing the difficult work of addressing the underlying issues that may have contributed to the infidelity in the first place. This could involve improving communication, resolving conflicts in a healthier manner, or even addressing personal issues like low self-esteem or a lack of emotional intimacy.

With time, patience, and a genuine commitment to the relationship, it is possible for couples to emerge from the trauma of infidelity with a stronger, more honest and intimate bond than ever before. However, the path is not an easy one, and requires an immense amount of courage, vulnerability and resilience from both partners.

How to Break Free of Insecurity in a Relationship

Insecurity can be a significant challenge in a relationship, often stemming from deep-rooted self-esteem issues or past experiences. While it's a common experience, it's important to address it to foster a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

Understanding Insecurity

Before diving into solutions, it's crucial to understand the root of your insecurity. Is it based on past relationships, low self-esteem, or fear of abandonment? Identifying the source can help you tailor your approach.

Building Self-Esteem

 * Self-care: Prioritize physical and mental well-being through exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques.

 * Positive affirmations: Challenge negative thoughts with positive affirmations about yourself.

 * Personal achievements: Focus on your accomplishments and strengths to boost confidence.

Open Communication

 * Express your feelings: Share your insecurities with your partner in a non-accusatory way.

 * Active listening: Give your partner undivided attention when they communicate their feelings.

 * Empathy: Try to understand your partner's perspective and validate their emotions.

Setting Boundaries

 * Healthy expectations: Establish realistic expectations for yourself and your partner.

 * Time alone: Maintain your independence and hobbies to avoid feeling overly dependent.

 * Trust: Build trust by being honest and reliable.

Seeking Professional Help

If insecurity significantly impacts your relationship, consider seeking couples or individual therapy. A therapist can provide valuable tools and strategies to overcome these challenges.

Additional Tips

 * Avoid comparison: Comparing yourself to others can exacerbate insecurities. Focus on your own journey.

 * Practice mindfulness: Being present in the moment can help reduce anxious thoughts.

 * Challenge negative thoughts: Identify and challenge negative thought patterns.

Remember, overcoming insecurity is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. A strong and supportive partner can be a valuable ally in this journey.

Lust vs. Love: Understanding the Differences in Romantic Relationships

When we think of romantic relationships, the terms "lust" and "love" often come to mind. While these two concepts are related, they are distinctly different in nature and have important implications for the success and longevity of a relationship. Understanding the differences between lust and love is crucial for developing healthy, fulfilling partnerships.

Lust: The Physical Attraction

Lust is primarily driven by physical and sexual attraction. It is an intense, passionate feeling that is often short-lived and focused on the immediate gratification of physical desires. Lust is characterized by a strong, almost irresistible urge to be physically intimate with someone, and it is often fueled by hormones and the initial excitement of a new relationship.

The key features of lust include:

1. Physical Attraction: Lust is primarily centered on the physical attributes and appearance of the other person. It is less concerned with their personality, values, or long-term compatibility.

2. Intensity and Impulsivity: Lust is marked by a sense of urgency and intensity, often leading to impulsive decisions and behaviors. The desire for physical intimacy can feel overwhelming and difficult to control.

3. Temporary Nature: Lust is typically a fleeting emotion that tends to fade over time, as the initial physical excitement and novelty wear off.

Love: The Deeper Emotional Connection

In contrast, love is a deeper, more enduring emotional attachment that goes beyond physical attraction. Love is characterized by a genuine care, affection, and commitment to the other person, regardless of their physical attributes. It involves a deeper understanding and appreciation of the other person's personality, values, and unique qualities.

The key features of love include:

1. Emotional Intimacy: Love is built on a strong emotional connection, where both partners feel understood, accepted, and supported on a deeper level.

2. Commitment and Stability: Love is marked by a long-term commitment to the relationship and a desire to nurture and sustain the bond over time. It is less focused on immediate gratification and more on the long-term well-being of the partnership.

3. Mutual Understanding and Respect: Love involves a deeper understanding and appreciation of the other person's thoughts, feelings, and needs, as well as a mutual respect for each other's individuality and autonomy.

The Interplay of Lust and Love

In healthy relationships, lust and love often coexist and complement each other. The initial physical attraction and desire (lust) can provide the spark that ignites a relationship, while the deeper emotional connection and commitment (love) helps to sustain the partnership over time.

However, it is important to recognize that lust and love are not the same thing, and relationships that are primarily based on lust may not be as fulfilling or long-lasting as those built on a foundation of genuine love. Over-reliance on lust can lead to disappointment, disillusionment, and even the breakdown of the relationship.

Ultimately, the healthiest and most fulfilling relationships involve a balance of both lust and love, where the physical attraction and desire are complemented by a deep, abiding emotional connection and commitment to one another.

Damaged by Deceit: Heartbreaking Stories of Men Affected by Paternity Fraud

Nigeria is facing a troubling trend of paternity fraud, where an alarming number of men are discovering that the children they have raised and loved are not biologically theirs as reported by Punch News. This issue has been thrust into the spotlight, leaving homes torn apart and families plunged into chaos as the fragile nature of family bonds is exposed.

The story of Olanrewaju Kolawole, a 44-year-old man who collapsed into a seven-day coma after DNA tests revealed he was not the father of any of his four children, has captivated audiences across Nigeria and the diaspora. Kolawole's tale of betrayal and heartbreak unfolded after 16 years of marriage to his wife, Toyin, who disputed the results, claiming she was not present when the samples were taken.

In another case, a crypto enthusiast, Stephen Moses, detailed how he discovered his first child was not biologically his. Moses, who got married in 2016, found out his son had a sickle cell genotype, leading him to conduct a DNA test that revealed the child was not his. His wife initially blamed "the enemy" and refused to take a maternity test, further fueling the controversy.

These stories are just the tip of the iceberg, as the latest report from a leading Lagos-based DNA testing center, Smart DNA, revealed that nearly 27% of paternity tests conducted by the center returned negative results. This means that more than one in four men tested were not the biological fathers of the children in question.

The report also highlighted an increase in DNA tests for immigration purposes, necessary for processing paperwork for children. Regarding gender dynamics, the data showed that men requested 88.2% of all tests, compared to 11.8% initiated by women.

Biotechnologist Benson Okorie emphasized the accuracy of DNA tests, stating that they are 99.9% reliable. He explained the testing process, which involves analyzing genetic markers to determine the child's relationship to the potential father and the person who gave birth to them.

Netizens reacted to the report, with many decrying the trend of paternity fraud and blaming it on sexual promiscuity and deceit. Some users suggested that the issue stems from a "nation of subdued, festering promiscuity" where married women secretly sleep with other men and pass off the children as their husbands'.

In response to the findings, the President of the non-profit organization One Love Foundation, Patrick Eholor, called for the National Assembly to pass a law making paternity tests compulsory after childbirth. He believes this would ensure fidelity among couples and prevent the trauma experienced by men who discover they are not the biological fathers of their children.

Legal practitioner Idam Maduabuchi explained that the current legal frameworks in Nigeria, such as the Matrimonial Causes Act and the Penal Code Act, do not adequately address the issue of paternity fraud. He suggested that victims of paternity fraud may have the right to seek damages under civil law, as the criminal laws in Nigeria do not consider it an offense.

Religious leaders, including a pastor and a Muslim cleric, condemned paternity fraud as a sin and a violation of religious teachings on adultery and fornication. However, an Ifa priest claimed that the Yoruba culture has traditional DNA methods to determine paternity, which are being abandoned in favor of modern religious practices.

The growing prevalence of paternity fraud in Nigeria has sparked intense discussions and calls for legislative action to address this issue, which has shattered the trust and stability of many families. As DNA testing becomes more accessible, the true scale of this problem is being unveiled, leading to a reckoning that demands urgent attention and solutions.

Cleric Arrested for Allegedly Defiling Three Teenage Girls in Kwara State

According to information provided by Punch on May 9, 2024, the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC) in Kwara State has arrested a 45-year-old cleric, Prophet Olayinka Ajiboye, for allegedly defiling three teenage girls in Agah village, Ilorin South local government area of the state.

The arrest of the cleric, who has been described as a serial rapist, was carried out by operatives of the NSCDC on Tuesday, May 7th, 2024. The suspect had been under surveillance by the NSCDC following multiple complaints about his illicit activities.

The Public Relations Officer of the NSCDC in the state, ASC Ayoola Michael, confirmed the arrest and stated that the suspect, who is the General Overseer of Divine Land of Joy Prayer Ministry located in Agah village, had sexually assaulted several members of his church. One of the victims, named Joy Godfrey, reported the case to the Gender Unit of the NSCDC on April 3rd, 2024. She revealed the horrifying details of her ordeal, stating that the cleric lured her into an unfamiliar house in the Sango area of Ilorin and sexually assaulted her. He also forced her to swear with the Bible and threatened her with dire consequences if she disclosed the incident.

The second victim, whose identity was withheld, disclosed that the suspect had been sexually abusing her since she was sixteen years old. She further revealed that he impregnated her and gave her drugs to induce an abortion, resulting in severe bleeding for several months. The suspect threatened to kill her if she revealed their illicit relationship.

The third victim, also a member of the church, stated that the suspect started sexually abusing her at the age of thirteen. She was unable to report the incidents to her mother due to the suspect's consistent threats of harm and death.

The suspect has confessed to the crimes, attributing them to the influence of the devil. The Kwara NSCDC State Commandant, Dr. Umar J.G. Mohammed, expressed concern over the heinous acts and ordered a detailed investigation. He emphasized the command's commitment to combating gender-based violence and ensuring that perpetrators face prosecution in accordance with the law.

Septuagenarian Landlord Arrested for Allegedly Raping and Impregnating Tenant's 14-Year-Old Daughter

According to information provided by Punch on May 9, 2024, the Ogun State Police Command has arrested a 71-year-old landlord, known as Adesina, for allegedly sexually assaulting and impregnating his 14-year-old tenant's daughter in Ifesowapo Akute, Ifo Local Government Area of the state.

The incident reportedly occurred on Tuesday, April 9, 2024, at around 10:15 pm in the bathroom of the house. The residents and other tenants were shocked when they discovered the septuagenarian engaging in sexual intercourse with the teenage girl. The young girl had gone into the bathroom to take a shower when the landlord followed her inside and the act was witnessed by some community members and neighbors who raised the alarm. The Ajuwon Police Division was alerted and they arrested the landlord at the scene.

Following the arrest, the victim's father took her to the hospital for a medical examination upon the advice of the police and others. The test results revealed that the girl was approximately six weeks pregnant, indicating that this was not the first occurrence of sexual abuse.

The spokesperson for the Ogun State Police Command, Omolola Odutola, confirmed the incident and stated that the landlord had been arrested and detained. The case has been transferred to the State Criminal Investigation Department for further investigation.

This is not the first instance of such a crime in the state. In November 2023, a 76-year-old man named David Ogunsanwo was apprehended by the Nigeria Security and Civil Defense Corps for allegedly defiling a 16-year-old girl who was also pregnant in the Abeokuta area of Ogun State.

A Kiss-and-Tell: Navigating the Challenges of Trust in Intimate Relationships

In the world of relationships, trust forms the foundation upon which love, intimacy, and emotional connection are built. So, what happens when that trust is broken by a partner who engages in kiss-and-tell behavior, sharing intimate details with others? This issue, brought to the attention of our advice column, has prompted us to explore the challenges that arise from such situations and provide guidance on how to rebuild trust.

The Surprise of Kiss-and-Tell:

Discovering your partner has betrayed your trust by divulging intimate moments or personal information to others can be a devastating revelation. It is often a complete shock for the person on the receiving end, leaving them feeling exposed, hurt, and questioning the authenticity of the relationship they once cherished.

Understanding the Motivations:

People who engage in kiss-and-tell behavior may do so for various reasons, ranging from seeking validation or attention to sharing personal experiences inappropriately. It is essential to remember that this behavior is not indicative of the worthiness of the person on the receiving end. Instead, it highlights the lack of boundaries and emotional maturity on the part of the person who shared the information.

Rebuilding Trust:

Rebuilding trust after a breach caused by kiss-and-tell actions requires open communication, understanding, and shared commitment. Here are some steps to consider:

1. Express your feelings: Openly communicate your hurt, disappointment, and the impact of their actions. Ensure your partner understands the depth of the emotional pain caused by their breach of trust.

2. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries regarding what can and cannot be shared outside the relationship. This can help rebuild a sense of safety and ensure both partners respect each other's privacy.

3. Counseling or therapy: Seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, can provide a safe space for both partners to express their concerns and work on rebuilding trust under the guidance of an impartial expert.

4. Open and ongoing communication: Encouraging open dialogue between partners is crucial. Discuss your expectations, fears, and concerns honestly, allowing space for growth and healing.

5. Patience and time: Rebuilding trust takes time and patience. It requires consistent effort, empathy, and understanding from both partners to navigate through the healing process successfully.

Learning from the Experience:

While the betrayal created by kiss-and-tell behavior can be emotionally devastating, it can also present an opportunity for personal growth and reflection within the relationship. It prompts both partners to reevaluate their communication skills, level of trust, and emotional intelligence. From this experience, couples can learn the importance of respect, privacy, and boundaries.

Conclusion:

Discovering that your partner is a kiss-and-tell individual can have devastating consequences for the trust and intimacy within a relationship. The journey towards rebuilding trust is challenging but not impossible. By fostering open communication, setting clear boundaries, seeking professional guidance, and investing time and patience into the healing process, couples can strive towards a relationship that is stronger, more resilient, and built on a foundation of trust.

Church pastor takes own life following leaks on WhatsApp group

A pastor, Oscar Mukahanana, tragically ended his life after details of a sexual scandal were exposed on his church's WhatsApp group. Mukahanana, a reverend at the United Methodist Church's Harare East District in Zimbabwe, was involved in an extramarital affair with a female youth from the congregation.

The scandal escalated when an audio recording of Mukahanana engaging in the illicit activity with the woman was leaked and shared on the church's WhatsApp group. In the recording, he expressed his excitement about the encounter and mentioned that it took place before the woman's menstrual cycle.

As news of the scandal spread within the church, members began circulating the leaked conversation and mocking Mukahanana, even creating memes that ridiculed him as the District Superintendent.

Feeling deeply humiliated and embarrassed, Mukahanana was unable to bear the shame and took his own life on Friday.

The UMC Harare District issued a statement in response to the tragic incident, expressing their sorrow: "It is with great sadness that we inform you of the untimely death of our beloved District Superintendent, Rev Oscar Mukahanana of the Harare East District. The Office of the Bishop will communicate further developments and funeral arrangements. We kindly request the church to support the Mukahanana family through prayers during this difficult time."

Strategies for Coping with a Stingy Partner

Dealing with a stingy partner can be challenging and put a strain on a relationship. Financial issues are often a sensitive topic, and when one partner consistently displays a reluctance to share or contribute, it can lead to frustration and resentment. However, there are strategies that can help couples cope with this situation and maintain a healthy relationship. In this article, we will explore some effective ways to handle a stingy partner and foster understanding and harmony within the relationship.

1. Open and Honest Communication:

Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, especially when it comes to discussing financial matters. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns regarding their stinginess. Choose an appropriate time and approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Express your needs and expectations, and listen to your partner's perspective as well. Finding common ground through communication can help bridge the gap and bring about positive changes.

2. Encourage Financial Independence:

If your partner's stinginess stems from a fear of being taken advantage of or a desire for control, encouraging financial independence can be a viable solution. If you have the means, encourage your partner to pursue their own source of income or engage in activities that can generate extra income. This can alleviate their concerns about constantly providing for the household expenses and allow them to feel more comfortable in sharing financial responsibilities.

3. Lead by Example:

Instead of resorting to resentment or retaliation, lead by example and demonstrate the behavior you wish to see in your partner. Show thoughtfulness and generosity towards them, and let them experience the joy of giving. This can help shift their perspective and encourage them to be more open and giving in return. Actions often speak louder than words, and by embodying the qualities you desire in your partner, you create a positive influence on their behavior.

4. Understand Your Partner's Perspective:

It's important to try and understand why your partner may be exhibiting stingy behavior. Some individuals may have grown up with limited resources or have had negative experiences in the past that shaped their attitudes towards money. By empathizing with their perspective, you can approach the issue with greater understanding and find solutions that address their underlying concerns. This understanding can help foster a more compassionate and supportive environment within the relationship.

5. Seek Professional Help:

If the issue persists and causes significant distress in your relationship, seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor or therapist can be beneficial. A professional can provide guidance and facilitate productive conversations between you and your partner. They can help uncover deeper issues and provide strategies to overcome them. Sometimes, an unbiased third party can offer valuable insights and help both partners navigate their financial dynamics in a healthier way.

Conclusion:

Coping with a stingy partner requires patience, understanding, and effective communication. By implementing the strategies mentioned above, couples can work towards resolving financial conflicts and fostering a more harmonious relationship. Remember, it's essential to approach the issue with empathy and respect, keeping in mind that everyone has their own unique perspectives and experiences when it comes to money. With commitment and mutual effort, couples can find a middle ground that satisfies both partners' needs and strengthens their bond.

How does it feel to have an orgasm?

The experience of orgasm is a deeply personal and subjective one. It can be a source of confusion or uncertainty for individuals who are unsure if they have ever experienced it. In this article, we aim to shed some light on what an orgasm feels like while emphasizing that it is a unique and individualized sensation.

Defining Orgasm:

An orgasm is the peak of sexual pleasure, accompanied by intense physical and emotional sensations. It is often described as a release of sexual tension that brings about waves of pleasure and satisfaction. However, it is important to note that the experience of orgasm can vary from person to person.

Recognizing the Signs:

While there is no definitive template for what an orgasm should feel like, there are some common signs to look out for. Firstly, you may experience muscular contractions or spasms in the pelvic region, including the vagina and clitoris. These contractions can range from subtle to intense and may be accompanied by a feeling of tension release.

Secondly, sensations leading up to an orgasm typically build in intensity. You may feel a mounting wave of pleasure that reaches its peak before gradually subsiding. The climax is often described as a moment of intense release and pleasure.

Lastly, the overall experience of an orgasm should be enjoyable and fulfilling. It is a deeply pleasurable sensation that can leave you feeling physically and emotionally satisfied.

Individual Variations:

It is crucial to understand that the experience of orgasm is highly individualized. What may be true for one person may differ for another. Some individuals may experience multiple orgasms in quick succession, while others may have more subtle or less pronounced sensations. There is no right or wrong way to experience an orgasm, and the most important aspect is that it brings you pleasure and satisfaction.

Communication with Your Partner:

Your partner's eagerness to ensure you are experiencing orgasm together is well-intentioned but may stem from misconceptions about simultaneous climax. While simultaneous orgasms can be a thrilling experience for some couples, it is not the norm. Sexual pleasure and the timing of orgasms can vary between partners, and it is essential to communicate openly and honestly about your desires and experiences.

Exploring Your Own Pleasure:

Understanding your own body and exploring self-pleasure can be instrumental in discovering what brings you to orgasm. Take time to explore your body, experiment with different forms of stimulation, and pay attention to the sensations that feel pleasurable to you. By becoming acquainted with your own pleasure, you can guide your partner in understanding what brings you the most satisfaction.

Conclusion:

The experience of orgasm is unique to each individual, and there is no one-size-fits-all description. It is a deeply personal sensation that manifests differently from person to person. Trust your own feelings and sensations, and remember that open communication with your partner is key. By understanding and embracing your own pleasure, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery and enhance your sexual experiences.

Navigating the Complexities of Infidelity: Exploring Different Perspectives

Infidelity is a topic that elicits strong emotions and raises questions about the nature of commitment and trust in relationships. In this article, we delve into the complexities of infidelity and explore different perspectives on its definition and implications.

The Spectrum of Marital Contracts:

Marriage and committed partnerships come in various forms, and each carries its own set of expectations and boundaries. Some couples embrace open relationships, where extramarital sexual encounters are permitted with mutual consent. Others may find themselves in unions where one partner lacks interest in sex, thereby allowing the other to seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere. However, the most common scenario seems to be the unspecified contract, where both partners claim monogamy but engage in secret extramarital affairs.

The Gray Area of Infidelity:

When one partner engages in extramarital intercourse without the intention of breaking up the marriage but purely for sexual gratification, questions arise about whether real infidelity has occurred. Conventionally, such actions are considered a breach of trust and fidelity. The betrayed spouse often experiences predictable reactions, driven by the implicit promise of monogamy in traditional marriages. Humiliation, fear, and confusion make it challenging for the transgressor to justify their actions as purely physical encounters rather than infidelity.

Expanding the Definition of Infidelity:

It is crucial to recognize that infidelity encompasses more than just sexual relations. Emotional infidelity, characterized by deep emotional connections formed outside the primary partnership, can also be considered a form of betrayal. It is often overlooked that infidelity can occur without sexual involvement. For example, a person may prioritize relationships with friends or colleagues over their spouse, leading to emotional detachment within the marriage. In such cases, the question arises: can these individuals be considered faithful?

Exploring Open Marriages:

The concept of open marriage has gained attention in recent years. It involves an agreement between partners that permits sexual relations with others while maintaining the primary partnership. The specifics of this arrangement, such as whether to disclose each extramarital relationship, are determined by mutual consent. Advocates argue that open marriages can enhance sexual expression within the primary partnership. However, critics contend that such arrangements erode trust and undermine the exclusive bond between two individuals.

The Importance of Communication and Trust:

Infidelity raises fundamental questions about trust and the emotional connection between partners. It is essential for couples facing the crisis of extramarital affairs to reflect on whether it is the act of sex itself or the breach of trust that lies at the heart of their concerns. Successful marriages rely on honesty and faith, and understanding each other's desires can help navigate the challenges of maintaining a committed relationship.

Conclusion:

Infidelity is a complex and emotionally charged topic that defies easy categorization. Perspectives on infidelity vary, ranging from strict definitions rooted in monogamy to more open-minded approaches that acknowledge the nuances of human relationships. Ultimately, successful partnerships require open communication, trust, and a willingness to address and resolve issues surrounding fidelity. By fostering honesty and understanding, couples can navigate the complexities of infidelity and strengthen their bond of love.

Exploring the Duration of Engagement: How Long Should It Last?

Engagement is a significant milestone in a romantic relationship, marking the commitment of two individuals to spend their lives together. However, the question of how long an engagement should last remains a subject of debate among couples and experts. In this article, we delve into the various perspectives surrounding the duration of engagement, considering factors such as courtship, readiness for marriage, cultural norms, and personal preferences.

The Significance of Courtship:

Before couples embark on the journey of engagement, they often go through a phase of courtship. Courtship serves as a time for individuals to get to know each other, assess compatibility, and establish a strong foundation for their future together. The duration of courtship varies from couple to couple, as it depends on factors such as individual circumstances, personal beliefs, and cultural influences. Some couples may find that a shorter courtship is sufficient, while others may prefer a longer period of time to solidify their connection.

Understanding Engagement:

Engagement is the formal declaration of a couple's intention to marry. It is during this phase that families and close ones become involved, and preparations for the upcoming union begin. Traditionally, engagement is followed by various wedding ceremonies, including the introduction, traditional, court, and white weddings, depending on cultural practices and personal preferences.

Expert Opinions on Engagement Duration:

When it comes to the ideal duration of engagement, experts and psychologists offer different viewpoints. Prof. Benjamin Olley, a psychologist from the University of Ibadan, suggests that engagement should last no longer than a year. He emphasizes that engagement signifies readiness for marriage and that couples should use this period to adequately prepare for their new life together. While not advocating for a fixed timeline for courtship, he emphasizes that certain aspects of life, such as physiological, psychological, emotional, spiritual, and financial readiness, should be considered before entering into an engagement.

Personal Perspectives:

Individual experiences and opinions regarding engagement duration vary greatly. Ada Onasanya shares that she was engaged for about a year and a half before getting married. She believes that there shouldn't be a fixed period for engagement, as each couple's circumstances and goals are unique. On the other hand, Precious Ehiremen, who married four months after engagement, asserts that engagement should not last too long, suggesting a timeframe of four to five months. Similarly, bachelor Ebuka Okonkwo proposes a maximum engagement duration of six months, highlighting the importance of starting marriage plans promptly after engagement.

Considering Factors and Individual Choices:

While there is no definitive answer to how long an engagement should last, it is essential for couples to consider various factors and make choices that align with their values and circumstances. Financial stability, cultural traditions, family dynamics, and personal goals can all play a role in determining the duration of engagement. It is crucial for couples to engage in open and honest communication, discussing their expectations, desires, and concerns.

Conclusion:

The duration of engagement is a subjective matter, influenced by a multitude of factors. While some experts suggest a maximum timeframe of one year, personal preferences and cultural norms may lead couples to opt for shorter or longer engagements. Ultimately, the decision should be based on the couple's readiness for marriage, their ability to meet the necessary preparations, and their shared goals. It is vital for couples to engage in open dialogue and make choices that best suit their unique circumstances, ensuring a solid foundation for their future union.

Reviving the Spark in Your Marriage After Having Kids

Having children is a joyous and transformative experience in a couple's life. However, it is not uncommon for the arrival of children to significantly impact the dynamics of a marriage. The focus and attention that were once solely directed towards each other may now shift towards the little ones. This shift can sometimes cause couples to feel disconnected and lose the spark in their relationship. In this article, we will explore practical tips and strategies for reviving the spark in your marriage after having kids.

1. Prioritize Communication:

Effective communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. After having children, it becomes even more crucial to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Make an effort to carve out dedicated time for meaningful conversations. Discuss your feelings, concerns, and desires with each other. Listening attentively and empathetically to your partner's perspective will foster a deeper understanding and strengthen your bond.

2. Rekindle Romance:

Romance often takes a backseat when the demands of parenting take center stage. It is essential to reignite the romantic flame in your relationship. Plan date nights or special activities that allow you to reconnect and enjoy each other's company. Surprise your partner with small gestures of love and affection. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and create new shared experiences that remind you of the love that brought you together.

3. Nurture Intimacy:

Intimacy is not solely about physical closeness but also about emotional connection. Find ways to nurture intimacy in your relationship. Set aside time for intimate moments, whether it's through cuddling, holding hands, or simply talking intimately. Physical affection and emotional intimacy can strengthen the bond between you and your partner, reigniting the spark in your marriage.

4. Share Responsibilities:

Parenting responsibilities can sometimes become overwhelming, leading to one partner feeling burdened or neglected. It is crucial to share the responsibilities of raising children. Divide tasks such as feeding, bathing, and bedtime routines to ensure both partners are actively involved. By sharing the load, you create opportunities for quality time together and alleviate the stress that can strain a relationship.

5. Keep the Romance Alive:

Maintain the romantic aspects of your relationship by continuing to express love and appreciation for each other. Use pet names, compliment each other, and show gratitude for the things your partner does. Small gestures of affection and kindness can go a long way in keeping the romance alive.

6. Take Time for Yourself:

As parents, it's easy to become consumed by the needs of your children, forgetting to prioritize self-care. Remember that taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. Set aside time for activities that bring you joy and rejuvenate your spirit. By nurturing your own well-being, you will be better equipped to nurture your relationship.

Conclusion:

Having children is undoubtedly a life-altering experience, and it is natural for the dynamics of a marriage to change. However, with conscious effort and commitment, it is possible to revive the spark in your relationship after having kids. Prioritize communication, nurture intimacy, and make time for romance. Remember that a strong and fulfilling partnership is not only beneficial for you but also provides a stable and loving environment for your children to thrive.

Handling Long Distance Relationships: Tips for Success and Happiness

Love knows no boundaries, and in today's digital age, long-distance relationships have become increasingly common. Whether it's due to work commitments, immigration, or personal circumstances, many couples find themselves navigating the challenges and joys of being in a long-distance relationship. In this article, we will explore some key tips and strategies for handling long-distance relationships effectively and ensuring their success.

1. Define Your Relationship Goals:

Before embarking on a long-distance relationship, it's essential to have a clear understanding of your goals as a couple. Are you in it for the long haul, with the ultimate goal of marriage and a future together? Or is it a temporary arrangement with an expiration date? Having honest and open communication about your expectations will set the foundation for a strong and resilient relationship.

2. Communication is Key:

Maintaining open and frequent communication is vital in any relationship, but it becomes even more critical in a long-distance setup. Make it a priority to connect regularly through phone calls, video chats, and text messages. Share your daily experiences, thoughts, and emotions with each other, and make an effort to actively listen and support one another. Regular communication helps bridge the physical distance and strengthens your emotional connection.

3. Build Trust:

Trust forms the bedrock of any successful relationship, and it becomes even more crucial in a long-distance scenario. Establish trust by being honest, transparent, and reliable in your interactions. Avoid keeping secrets or withholding information that may erode trust. Instead, foster an environment of openness and vulnerability, where both partners feel safe and secure in sharing their feelings and concerns.

4. Plan Visits and Create Shared Experiences:

Physical distance can take a toll on emotional intimacy, so it's essential to plan regular visits and create shared experiences whenever possible. Set aside dedicated time to be together in person, whether it's a weekend getaway, a vacation, or simply spending quality time in each other's company. These reunions will help strengthen your bond, create lasting memories, and provide something to look forward to during the periods of separation.

5. Embrace Technology:

Fortunately, we live in an era where technology can bridge the gap between two people miles apart. Take advantage of video calls, instant messaging, and social media platforms to stay connected throughout the day. Share photos, videos, and updates about your lives, and use technology creatively to create virtual dates or activities that you can enjoy together, such as watching a movie simultaneously or cooking the same meal while video chatting.

6. Cultivate Independence and Personal Growth:

While being in a long-distance relationship requires effort and commitment, it's also an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Use this time apart to pursue your individual interests, hobbies, and goals. Cultivate independence and invest in self-care. By nurturing your own well-being and personal development, you'll bring a sense of fulfillment and happiness to the relationship, making you a better partner for your loved one.

7. Handle Conflict with Care:

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and long-distance couples are not exempt from it. However, resolving conflicts from a distance can be more challenging. When disagreements arise, approach them with empathy, understanding, and patience. Choose your words carefully and strive for effective communication. Avoid letting unresolved conflicts fester, as they can magnify the feelings of distance and strain the relationship.

8. Maintain Mutual Support:

Supporting each other's dreams, goals, and aspirations is crucial in a long-distance relationship. Celebrate each other's successes, provide encouragement during challenging times, and be a source of emotional support. Distance may limit physical presence, but it should never hinder the emotional support and encouragement that partners provide for each other.

9. Have a Plan for the Future:

Long-distance relationships work best when there is a shared vision for the future. Discuss your long-term plans and aspirations as a couple. Explore possibilities for closing the distance, whether it's through career changes, relocation, or immigration. Having a plan in place gives you both something to work towards and strengthens your commitment to the relationship.

In conclusion, while long-distance relationships may present unique challenges, they can also be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling. By prioritizing effective communication, trust, shared experiences, personal growth, and mutual support, you can navigate the distance and build a strong foundation for lasting love. With dedication, patience, and a positive mindset, your long-distance relationship can thrive and bring you closer together, even when miles apart.

How to Avoid Being Used in Relationships

In today's fast-paced and complex world, navigating relationships can be challenging. One common issue many individuals face is the fear of being used by their partners. Whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship, feeling taken advantage of can lead to emotional distress and a loss of self-worth. In this article, we will explore some practical tips on how to avoid being used in relationships and maintain a healthy sense of self.

1. Trust Your Instincts:

One of the most important aspects of avoiding being used is trusting your instincts. If something feels off or your gut tells you that you are being taken advantage of, it's crucial to listen to those signals. Pay attention to red flags, inconsistencies in behavior, or instances where your needs and boundaries are repeatedly ignored. Trusting your instincts will help you recognize potentially toxic relationships and take necessary action.

2. Set Clear Boundaries:

Establishing clear boundaries is essential in any relationship. Clearly communicate your expectations, needs, and limits to your partner or friend. Be assertive and firm about what you're comfortable with and what you're not. Respect and enforce your boundaries consistently, even if it means saying "no" to certain requests or situations. Setting boundaries not only safeguards your well-being but also ensures that healthy and respectful dynamics are maintained.

3. Build Self-Confidence:

Developing self-confidence is a powerful tool in avoiding being used. When you have a strong sense of self-worth, you are less likely to tolerate being mistreated or taken advantage of. Focus on your strengths, accomplishments, and personal growth. Engage in activities that bring you joy and boost your self-esteem. Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals who appreciate and value you for who you are.

4. Assess Reciprocity:

Reciprocity is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships. Evaluate whether the give-and-take balance is equitable in your relationships. Are you the one constantly giving, while the other person only takes? Are your needs and desires being acknowledged and respected? It's important to be in relationships where both parties contribute and support each other. If you notice a significant lack of reciprocity, it may be time to reassess the relationship's dynamics.

5. Pay Attention to Actions:

Words can be deceiving, but actions reveal a person's true intentions. Pay attention to how your partner or friend treats you on a consistent basis. Do their actions align with their words? Are they supportive, considerate, and reliable? If someone consistently fails to follow through on their promises or consistently disregards your feelings, it might be an indication that they are using you. Surround yourself with individuals who demonstrate genuine care and respect.

Conclusion:

Avoiding being used in relationships is essential for maintaining emotional well-being and fostering healthy connections. By trusting your instincts, setting clear boundaries, building self-confidence, assessing reciprocity, and paying attention to actions, you can protect yourself from being taken advantage of. Remember, you deserve to be in relationships that are mutually beneficial, respectful, and nurturing. Prioritize your own happiness and surround yourself with individuals who value and appreciate you for who you are.

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The devastating effects of horror movie The Wicker Man on a family

Five years after his father passed away, Justin Hardy received six crates filled with documents that had been stored in the attic of his family home in the Midlands for half a century. These documents included scripts, photos, storyboards, and personal letters related to a single film: The Wicker Man.

When the film was initially released in 1973, it was a failure. However, over time, it gained a cult following and was even hailed by Empire Magazine as "the Best British horror film ever made." A recent re-release of the movie received enthusiastic five-star reviews.

The film marked the directorial debut of Justin's father, Robin Hardy, who candidly stated that it "ruined" his family. The story is set on a fictional Scottish island and revolves around a devout Christian police officer named Edward Woodward, who investigates the disappearance of a local girl. He stumbles upon a community of pagan worshippers led by the charismatic Lord Summerisle, played by Christopher Lee.

The film was designed to unsettle the audience, featuring elements such as phallic sweets, child torture, striking scenery, and a shocking ending. Despite its eventual cult status, the studio that financed the film, British Lion, despised the final product. They considered it one of the worst movies ever made and refused to promote it. Even Christopher Lee, who portrayed Lord Summerisle, personally reached out to critics, urging them to attend screenings and offering to pay for their tickets.

The film initially flopped but later experienced a resurgence. Now, fifty years later, Justin and his brother Dominic are revisiting the reasons behind the film's initial failure and subsequent rise in popularity. Through their documentary, titled "Wickermania!," they aim to shed light on the chaotic and heartbreaking impact the film had on their family.

Before directing The Wicker Man, Robin had a successful career in advertising, and the family lived comfortably in Belgravia with Justin, his sister Arabella, and their mother Caroline. However, following the film's disastrous reception, Caroline, who had invested her money in the project, was burdened with debts, while Robin left for the United States in 1974. It was reported that upon his arrival in New York, the director slept on a bench in Central Park.

Before his departure, Robin visited Justin at school to say goodbye, giving him a Saint Christopher pendant as a symbol of protection during his travels. This departure left Justin with a sense of uncertainty, wondering when he would see his father again. Caroline eventually divorced Robin due to his absence and lack of communication. The family had to sell their London house and move to the Midlands. For the following four years, Justin believed his father was dead.

Justin reflects on this period, stating that it was a sad time for their family. He questions his father's abandonment and the lack of protection he provided, especially considering the burden Caroline faced and her subsequent decline into alcoholism, which led to her death from liver cirrhosis.

Five years after his disappearance, Robin returned to the UK to watch Justin perform in a play. He carried an article highlighting the film's success in San Francisco. Justin recalls the surprise encounter, with Robin introducing himself after Justin had finished his performance. Despite his initial feelings, Justin didn't confront his father but instead wanted to please him and ensure he wouldn't leave again. This dynamic persisted for several years.

Justin discovered that The Wicker Man received a more positive reception among universities and American film festivals, leading to its reevaluation and cult status. However, the damage inflicted on Robin's family was irreversible.

Robin went on to have eight children with six different women, often moving on when financial resources became scarce. One of these children was Dominic, who didn't have a significant relationship with his father until his mother brought him to the UK from Canada in 1969. Dominic recalls the mythic summer of 1970 when he met his half-siblings and spent time with Robin. This experience had a profound impact on him, and he sought out his siblings in adulthood to make up for lost time.

Dominic remembers Robin as a flamboyant, charming, and fascinating individual. However, Robin's health declined when Dominic was eleven due to a heart attack, which nearly took his life. This event marked a significant moment in their family's history. Robin started writing letters to his children, and it was believed that his filmmaking career was over due to the difficulty of obtaining insurance after a heart attack. Remarkably, Robin survived and completed the film, but the incident left a lasting impression on Dominic.

Fifty years later, Dominic and Justin stumbled upon a treasure trove of documents in the attic. Initially hesitant to delve into the past, they eventually decided to explore the contents of the crates. The letters they discovered, including correspondence from Christopher Lee and Peter Shaffer, provided unique insights into the making of an independent film. Despite the significance of this find, it brought about difficult emotions for the Hardy family.

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The Husband's Temptations: A Tale of Infidelity and Moral Dilemma

Infidelity is a topic that has plagued relationships for centuries, causing heartbreak and betrayal. In a world where temptation lurks at every corner, one man's story stands out as a testament to the complexities of human desires. The article delves into the account of a man named Jonathan, who found himself entangled in a web of sexual escapades and moral dilemmas. His experiences shed light on the delicate balance between fidelity and temptation.

The Allure of Forbidden Desires:

Jonathan, a married man of almost twenty years, had an insatiable appetite for sex that never ceased to amaze those who knew him. Despite being committed to his wife, he found himself drawn to the excitement of illicit encounters. It was during his wife's pregnancy with their second child that Jonathan stumbled upon a captivating woman at a party. The allure of this woman's beauty and her apparent interest in him led Ado astray from his marital vows.

A Night of Passion:

Driven by desire, Jonathan and the mysterious woman embarked on a clandestine rendezvous. They met in a hotel room, away from prying eyes, to indulge in a night of passion. Jonathan describes the experience as intoxicating, exploring sexual positions he never knew existed. The guilt of betraying his pregnant wife lingered, but it was overshadowed by the allure of this new encounter.

Moral Dilemmas and Regrets:

Jonathan's encounters with temptation did not end there. He later found himself lured by the charms of their new household maid, a young and attractive woman. Jonathan succumbed to his desires, engaging in secret trysts with her while his wife slept unaware. The moral dilemmas and consequences of his actions weighed heavily on his conscience. Jonathan questioned whether the maid was aware of his presence during their encounters, raising doubts about her complicity in their affair.

The Toll on Relationships:

Jonathan's story highlights the destructive nature of infidelity and the toll it takes on relationships. His wife, oblivious to his indiscretions, innocently welcomed him back into her arms, unaware of the thoughts that consumed him. The betrayal and emotional turmoil inflicted upon his spouse are evident, raising questions about the long-term effects of such actions on a marriage.

Lessons Learned:

Jonathan's tale serves as a cautionary reminder of the fragility of trust and the consequences of succumbing to temptation. It emphasizes the importance of open communication, loyalty, and commitment in a relationship. Jonathan's actions reveal the depths to which human desires can lead individuals astray, causing irreparable damage to their loved ones.

Conclusion:

The story of Jonathan, the husband with a pants problem, sheds light on the complexities of human nature and the challenges of fidelity in the face of temptation. It serves as a stark reminder that the pursuit of momentary pleasure can have long-lasting repercussions on relationships and personal integrity. By examining Jonathan's experiences, we are reminded of the importance of moral responsibility, honesty, and the commitment required to maintain a healthy and loving partnership.

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Will You Tell Your Friend His Wife Is Dating Your Boss?

Maintaining friendships and navigating complex relationships can often be a challenging endeavor. What happens when you find yourself in a situation where your friend's spouse is involved with your boss? Should you reveal this unsettling truth or keep it to yourself? This article delves into the moral dilemma faced by one individual and explores different perspectives on whether or not to disclose such a sensitive matter.

The Office Scandal:

In a scenario that could easily be mistaken for a scene from a soap opera, Frank, an employee, unwittingly stumbles upon his boss, Mr. Bruno, in a compromising situation with his best friend's wife. The shock and disbelief of this encounter leave Frank torn between loyalty to his friend and the potential consequences of exposing the affair. The incident raises the question of whether it is his place to intervene in his friend's marriage or maintain his silence.

Different Perspectives, Different Choices:

Opinions on how to handle such a delicate situation vary, reflecting the complexity of human relationships. Let's explore some contrasting viewpoints expressed by individuals who were asked to weigh in on the matter.

1. Soul E - The Observer:

Soul E, a musician, suggests that instead of directly informing his friend, he would create an opportunity for his friend to catch the unfaithful couple in the act. By allowing his friend to discover the truth firsthand, Soul E believes that the wife's infidelity will become undeniable, leaving the friend to make his own decision regarding the future of his marriage.

2. Leo Mezie - The Cautious Friend:

Leo Mezie, an actor, takes a different approach. He believes that it is his responsibility as a best friend to caution the wife before involving the friend. Leo emphasizes the importance of maintaining trust and being a watchful presence for his friend. However, he also asserts that if his job were threatened as a result of his actions, he would be prepared to defend himself.

3. Anthony Nwabugo - The Silent Supporter:

Anthony Nwabugo, a civil servant, advocates for non-interference, emphasizing the sacredness of marriage and the potential consequences of meddling in other people's affairs. Anthony believes that if his friend were meant to discover the truth, it would reveal itself naturally. He chooses to distance himself from the situation, allowing fate to take its course.

4. Ubong Justine - The Confrontationalist:

Ubong Justine, a businessman, takes an assertive stance. He declares that he would not hesitate to confront the wife directly, even resorting to physical force by slapping her. Ubong believes that his loyalty lies with his friend, and he would feel morally obligated to expose the affair to him, regardless of the potential consequences.

5. Dapo Johnson - The Covert Strategy:

Dapo Johnson suggests a strategic approach. He proposes gathering solid evidence by thoroughly investigating the affair and then arranging a meeting between his friend and the unfaithful couple. Dapo believes that witnessing the affair firsthand would be the most effective way to convince his friend of the truth without directly implicating himself.

Conclusion:

The question of whether to inform a friend about their spouse's affair with one's boss is undoubtedly complex. Each perspective presented in this article reflects the diverse range of human responses to such situations. Ultimately, the decision lies with the individual faced with this moral dilemma. It is essential to consider the potential consequences, the strength of the friendship, and the values that guide one's actions. Regardless of the chosen course, honesty, empathy, and respect should remain at the core of any decision made in delicate matters of the heart.

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The Fun of Rekindling the Spark of an Old Flame!

By Candida

There is something undeniably exciting about rekindling a connection with an old flame. The memories, the shared history, and the curiosity about what could have been all come rushing back, creating a sense of adventure and possibility. Recently, I had the unexpected pleasure of running into Bolaji, someone I hadn't seen in over 15 years, and it turned out to be a delightful journey down memory lane.

Our story began years ago when Bolaji pursued me relentlessly. He wooed me with dinners, fancy presents, and long, amusing conversations. Eventually, we became lovers. At that time, I had just left my husband and was nursing a broken heart, while Bolaji had reappeared in my life after a period of wondering where he had been. Life couldn't have been better.

However, our romance took an unexpected turn when my ex-husband, whom I refer to as CTB, showed up while Bolaji was visiting my flat. Bolaji, sensing the tension, made a swift exit, leaving me bewildered. It turned out that CTB was Bolaji's chairman in a political party's committee, and Bolaji didn't want any trouble with him. As a result, he distanced himself from me.

Months passed without any contact between us until one Sunday, I bumped into Bolaji at a filling station. I was furious with him for disappearing without a word, and I confronted him. To my surprise, he didn't seem guilty or remorseful. Instead, he explained that he had recognized CTB as his chairman and financial supporter when he visited my place. Fearing potential conflict, he chose to stay away. That encounter marked the last time I saw him until our recent reunion on a plane bound for Britain.

Travelling together proved to be a joyous experience. Bolaji shared that his first grandchild was going to be christened the next day and insisted that I attend. He had booked a service flat for himself, as he had fathered the child before getting married. After exchanging phone numbers, we parted ways temporarily.

The following day, Bolaji guided me over the phone to the venue of the naming ceremony. He even paid for the cab that brought me there. As the day progressed, it felt like we were on a first date all over again. The connection between us was undeniable, and I found myself enjoying his company more and more.

In a surprising turn of events, Bolaji offered to join me on a weekend trip to visit a friend outside London. He arranged his own accommodation at a bed and breakfast, and we had a wonderful time together. My friend was astounded when she saw him, and thanks to Bolaji's generosity, I didn't have to worry about expenses during the trip. He even treated my friend's family to an extravagant dinner on our last evening.

When we returned to London, I decided to stay with Bolaji. The week we spent together was nothing short of amazing. He discreetly asked if I was still seeing CTB, and although I confirmed that I was, he seemed a bit disappointed. We both understood that crossing paths with CTB would complicate things, so we chose not to pursue a romantic relationship.

During my time with Bolaji, I witnessed his busy social life in Lagos. His phone constantly rang, and he had commitments and responsibilities that kept him occupied. Nevertheless, he made me feel like a priority, devoting his attention to our time together. At the end of his visit, his daughter, who seemed to enjoy my company, brought in foodstuff to stock the flat.

I agreed to stay in the flat until Bolaji's lease ran out, and my friends were more than happy to help me finish the leftover food and drinks. The remainder of my holiday was filled with tidbits of news from Nigeria, which proved to be more interesting than the mundane stories on the news networks. It appeared that Nigerian parties had lost some of their previous extravagance, possibly due to the economic downturn or the passage of time.

As I prepared to explore the city with old friends, I pondered whether we still had the ability to create the same excitement and shake things up as we did in the past. With Maggie, an old Irish classmate, and a few others by my side, we embarked on a journey to revisit the scenes of our youthful adventures.

Rekindling the spark of an old flame can be a thrilling and nostalgic experience. It allows us to rediscover the bonds we once shared and explore the possibilities of what could have been. While the circumstances may not always align for a romantic reunion, the joy of reconnecting and reliving cherished memories is a treasure in itself.

Exploring the Factors Behind the Upsurge in Commercial Sex Trade

The commercial sex trade has been a subject of intense scrutiny and debate, raising questions about its causes and those responsible for its upsurge. In this article, we delve into the viewpoints of notable Nigerians as featured in a Vanguard News article from July 2009, titled "Who do you blame for the upsurge in commercial sex trade?" By examining their perspectives, we aim to shed light on the multifaceted factors contributing to this issue.

Blaming the Government:

One prominent viewpoint expressed by Nkem Owoh, an actor, is that the government shoulders a significant portion of the blame. Owoh criticizes the government for its alleged misappropriation and embezzlement of the nation's resources. He argues that the prevalence of corruption and the lack of job opportunities have pushed many individuals into the commercial sex trade as a means of survival. Owoh emphasizes the need for the government to prioritize job creation and utilize Nigeria's natural resources to improve the lives of its citizens.

The Role of Parenting:

Ngozi Ezeonu, an actress, places blame on the parents of those involved in the sex trade. She argues that proper upbringing and guidance from parents can prevent their children from resorting to prostitution. Ezeonu suggests that instilling the right values and moral principles can equip individuals with the resilience to resist societal pressures and make alternative choices.

Individual Responsibility:

Kate Effiong, another actress, attributes the blame primarily to the individuals engaged in prostitution. She highlights that poverty cannot be solely blamed for the involvement in the sex trade, as there are people facing financial difficulties who do not opt for this profession. Effiong argues that personal choices, lack of self-discipline, and a society that often disregards moral values contribute to the prevalence of commercial sex work.

Societal Factors:

Wale Adekunle, a computer analyst, emphasizes that societal factors play a significant role in the upsurge of the commercial sex trade. He criticizes the shortcomings of the Nigerian society, including inadequate support for education and the absence of essential amenities. Adekunle stresses the importance of addressing these societal issues to create an environment that fosters the well-being and opportunities for its youth.

Government Responsibility and Empowerment:

Timi Dakolo, a musician, acknowledges the individual's responsibility but highlights the role of the government in creating a conducive environment for the Nigerian youth. He argues that the lack of job opportunities, coupled with the absence of necessary infrastructure like reliable electricity, pushes individuals towards the sex trade. Dakolo calls for the government to prioritize job creation and provide the necessary amenities to discourage the desperation that leads to prostitution.

Conclusion:

The upsurge in commercial sex trade is a complex issue with various contributing factors. While opinions differ on who should be held responsible, it is evident that a combination of government policies, societal factors, individual choices, and parenting play significant roles. Addressing the root causes of poverty, corruption, unemployment, and moral decay is crucial in tackling this issue effectively. By creating a supportive and empowering environment, we can strive towards a society where individuals have viable alternatives and are not compelled to engage in the commercial sex trade.

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