In many Nigerian households, there is a common trend: girls are raised to cook, clean, and handle domestic tasks, while boys are often excused from such responsibilities. Mothers usually call their daughters into the kitchen to pound yam, stir soup, or fry plantain, while their sons remain in the living room watching TV, playing football, or waiting to be served food. This tradition has lasted for generations, but in today’s world, its negative effects have become increasingly obvious.
My experience was somewhat different. I wasn’t watching television or playing football while my mother and sisters cooked. Instead, I was given chores that were considered masculine, such as sweeping the front yard with a long broom — the short broom was believed to be for women, used to clean the inside of the house, the backyard, and the kitchen, which was often a separate structure behind the house. It was also my job to take the sheep out to graze or find them food. I was expected to till the soil for planting crops like yam, maize, and cassava and to care for them until harvest time.
The consequence of this upbringing was that I didn’t know how to cook until I got to boarding school. The only things I could prepare were fried plantain and boiled yam. Because we occasionally cooked in school, I picked up some basic cooking skills, but they were far from enough. It was only after completing university and living alone as a bachelor with a job that I properly learned to cook. Now, my wife and I make sure our sons know how to cook too.
The belief that “cooking is a woman’s duty” has placed many Nigerian boys at a serious disadvantage. By keeping them from learning essential survival skills, society has unknowingly made many men dependent on women. In a modern world where both men and women travel, live independently, and face similar responsibilities, this idea no longer makes sense. In fact, it harms not only men but also families, relationships, and society as a whole.
The mindset of most Nigerians must change — cooking should be seen not as a gender-based role but as a fundamental life skill. Just like brushing your teeth, ironing clothes, or managing money, cooking is a necessary part of daily life. Knowing how to prepare food supports good health, independence, and overall well-being. Denying boys this skill is like depriving a child of education; it should be considered an offense. Sending boys into adulthood without teaching them how to cook is like setting them up for failure.
Some argue that since women are traditionally homemakers, they should take charge of feeding the family. But the world has changed. Today, many women are breadwinners, professionals, and leaders. With families increasingly dependent on both partners’ income, women can’t always handle both work and home duties alone. If boys are taught to cook from childhood, they will grow into men who can share household responsibilities fairly with their wives or partners.
When boys grow up thinking cooking is beneath them, the consequences are everywhere to see. Many Nigerian men live alone and rely heavily on fast food, snacks, or daily visits to local eateries. Their health often deteriorates because they cannot cook nutritious meals.
Others depend entirely on wives, girlfriends, or female relatives for food. This creates an unhealthy power imbalance in relationships. A man who can’t cook may feel entitled to be served, while the woman might feel burdened by constantly having to cook. Some women even use this dependence as leverage to manipulate their partners. Such tensions often lead to conflict — problems that could easily be avoided if both partners shared the cooking.
The issue becomes worse when men travel abroad for education, jobs, or migration. Many Nigerian men living overseas quickly realise that eating out is too expensive and unsustainable. Without cooking skills, they struggle to adjust. Some end up spending too much of their income on food or depending on processed meals that damage their health over time.
Teaching boys to cook goes beyond putting food on the table — it builds self-confidence and independence. A boy who can cook grows up feeling capable and in control. He doesn’t panic when he’s alone or when he must rely on himself.
Cooking also cultivates planning, patience, and a sense of responsibility. To make a proper meal, you need to budget, shop wisely, measure ingredients, and manage your time. These habits transfer into other parts of life, shaping one’s discipline and character. A man who can organise his kitchen often brings the same order to his work, finances, and personal relationships.
The outdated belief that “the kitchen is for women” has already caused enough harm. By changing this mindset, we can create more balanced and harmonious homes. Imagine families where fathers, sons, and daughters all share the responsibility of cooking and doing other chores. Such homes would be more cooperative, less stressful, and full of bonding moments.
Children who see their fathers or older brothers cooking learn early that housework isn’t tied to gender. They grow up embracing fairness and equality — values that influence how they treat others and manage their future marriages.
Encouraging boys to cook can also elevate Nigeria’s food culture globally. Some of the most renowned chefs in the world are men — like Gordon Ramsay and Marcus Samuelsson. Nigerian cuisine, with its rich flavours and traditions, deserves skilled male chefs to promote it internationally. Teaching boys to cook well could lead to careers in hospitality, business, and cultural exchange.
So, how can parents correct the long-standing habit of excluding boys from the kitchen? It starts with introducing cooking to boys at an early age — just like it’s done with girls. Let them help wash vegetables, stir a pot, or set the dining table. Make it a regular activity, not a punishment or occasional duty. Assign kitchen tasks to both sons and daughters equally.
Parents should also praise boys when they make the effort, even if the food isn’t perfect. Positive reinforcement helps them improve. Fathers should join in the cooking too; when a dad fries eggs or grills meat, it sends a strong message to his sons. Go beyond just teaching recipes — explain why healthy meals are important. Boys should learn that cooking isn’t just about filling their stomachs but about nourishing their bodies. Keep reminding them that there’s no such thing as “men’s work” or “women’s work” when it comes to essential life skills.
The mindset must change. Nigerian parents, especially mothers, must consciously teach their sons to cook. Raising boys who are smart and strong but helpless in the kitchen is not enough. Real strength lies in self-sufficiency — and cooking is central to that.
In a world where gender roles are constantly evolving, holding on to old customs only limits men. A son who can cook becomes a supportive husband, a caring father, and a confident individual who can thrive anywhere.
The next time you enter your kitchen, ask yourself: “Am I preparing my son for the future?” If the answer is no, it’s time to change that. Teaching boys to cook isn’t just about making meals — it’s about preparing them for independence, equality, and real-life challenges.
Let’s raise a new generation of Nigerian men who can not only dream big and build successful careers but also walk into a kitchen, wear an apron, and confidently prepare a proper meal. That’s the path to stronger homes, healthier families, and a more balanced society.
Source: Punch News, 30 September, 2025
