Even with today’s advanced society and easy access to information technology, many parents still find it uncomfortable to discuss sex and relationships with their grown children. As a result, most young people remain uncertain about what’s appropriate and what’s not. From first date etiquette to breaking up politely, here’s everything a young man should know about how to treat a woman — and how to expect to be treated in return.
After a breakup
It’s unrealistic to remain “just friends” with a girl after ending a romantic relationship. Any girl who suggests this is either being dishonest or trying to avoid the guilt of ending things. Often, she wants to phase you out slowly or keep you around as a backup in case her new relationship or single life doesn’t turn out as planned. If your ex says, “Let’s be friends,” spend time with your real friends instead — and delete her contact immediately.
Respect your sisters
In most cases, men who succeed with women are those who have sisters. They tend to understand women better. Guys with many sisters often grow up as natural charmers — regardless of their looks. Practise how to relate respectfully and confidently with your sisters; it’ll prepare you for women later in life. And if you don’t have sisters, find a female friend or two you can learn from.
Understand her love for shopping
You need to quickly accept the fact that women generally enjoy shopping. If it’s not your thing, don’t tag along. Avoid following your girlfriend to the mall just because you have a few things to pick up, only to become frustrated waiting outside fitting rooms. Bargain-hunting is part of many women’s nature — let her enjoy it. And if she doesn’t mention how much she’s spent, don’t ask, especially when it’s her own money.
Dealing with mood swings
Women have hormones — men do too, but theirs work differently. When living with a woman, there will be times each month when it seems you can’t do anything right. That’s normal. Her reactions may appear exaggerated, but your role is to stay calm, avoid arguing, and quietly take responsibility. Never, under any circumstance, ask, “Are your hormones acting up again?” during an argument. She knows she’s being emotional; allow her to make amends in her own way — it usually pays off.
Who should pay the bills?
This can be tricky, but if you’re dating a confident, independent woman, you’ll be fine. On a first date, you should pay — especially if you invited her out and genuinely like her. By the second date, she should either pay or share the cost. A woman who expects you to cover every bill isn’t the right one for you.
If you earn far more than she does, discuss how she can contribute occasionally. You’re not her cash machine.
And about bathroom etiquette — leaving the toilet seat up isn’t a big issue, but leaving it wet is unacceptable. No one enjoys sitting on a damp toilet seat.
Don’t overlook the quiet girl
Pay attention to the girl your friends call a “geek.” The one who excels in academics but isn’t into trendy things might not be popular now, but she’s a “late bloomer.” Though she might not attract much attention today, she’ll likely grow into a successful, confident, and attractive woman in the future. Befriend her now — you might appreciate it later.
When it’s time to end things
Every relationship has its season, and sometimes, parting ways is inevitable. Maybe the spark is gone or you’ve met someone else — it happens. Everyone experiences heartbreak, whether being dumped or doing the dumping. What matters is how you handle it. Don’t cheat; if there’s an overlap, make it brief and discreet. End things face-to-face, preferably in a place you can leave quickly if emotions flare.
Avoid cowardly lines like “You’re too good for me” or “It’s not you, it’s me.” Be honest: “I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore; I’m unhappy and don’t feel the same.” It might sound harsh, but it’s clear. Afterward, avoid contact — it helps her heal faster and saves you late-night emotional calls.
Value punctuality
Be on time, and don’t tolerate lateness from others. “African Time” is no excuse for keeping someone waiting. If a girl makes you wait more than fifteen minutes because she “lost track of time,” leave. Nobody forgets the time when meeting someone they truly care about.
Learn basic cooking
Knowing how to cook simple meals — like rice, eba, or meat stew — is a useful skill. It shows independence. Just don’t wear an apron while doing it; no matter how fun it seems, that image tends to stick in a woman’s mind forever.
Maintain your male friendships
Never abandon your male friends for your girlfriend. Women respect men who are sociable and loyal to their circle. It’s perfectly fine and healthy to have guys’ nights occasionally. Just make sure you return home without another woman’s number on you.
Be cautious with her friends
Avoid getting too close or flirting with your girlfriend’s friends. It can cause unnecessary problems. Don’t do it — ever.
When she says “Nothing” or “I’m fine”
There will be moments when your girlfriend seems upset, and when you ask what’s wrong, she’ll reply, “Nothing” or “I’m fine.” Don’t be fooled — those words rarely mean she’s okay. They’re usually the start of the game called “Guess What’s Wrong With Me.”
Take part in the game — it’s part of being a good partner. Try to figure out what’s bothering her, since you’ve probably done something unknowingly. Subtle questioning works better than constant nagging. If you’re still unsure, discreetly reach out to her best friend — she probably knows the full story of how you supposedly hurt her feelings.
Source: Vanguard News, September 28, 2025
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