Masturbation can cause injury; frequent or overly vigorous masturbation can irritate the skin of the penis, and men who masturbate facedown can injure their urethras. This has been a major cause of erectile dysfunction for many who masturbate.
Sexual activity can reduce the risk of stroke and heart attack in older couples.
While couples with a history of stroke or heart disease should consult their sex therapist about sexual activity, for the most part, sex is a healthy form of exercise for older people. Researchers who tracked 914 married men for 20 years found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.
They also found frequency of sex was not associated with stroke.
Can you believe that experts say initiating sex is not the only way to express sexual desire? Although, 80 per cent of couples report that the husband wants sex more often than his wife does, this may be a distorted number partly because of the way we define sexual desire. Most of us typically think of sexual desire as a hunger for sex – often with sexual thoughts or fantasies –that prompts us to initiate sex.
It turns out, however, that most women experience a receptive type of sexual desire. Many years of research confirm that for many women, desire is “triggered” by thoughts and emotions arising during sexual excitement, not before. So, when a husband becomes frustrated because he wants his wife to pursue him sexually and he believes that she has no interest in sex because she doesn‘t do that, he‘s actually not giving her enough credit. Most women will respond positively to sexual advances; they just don‘t initiate them because that‘s not the way they are designed.
Since our culture defines sexual desire as initiating or seeking behaviour, we don‘t identify a women‘s receptivity as desire. However, men and women (usually) respond to different types of sexual stimuli and approach their sexuality differently.
This is a key area of misunderstanding between husbands and wives. Many women have commented to me, “I enjoy sex once we‘re 10 to 15 minutes into foreplay, and I think, wow! We should do this more often! However, during the week, I hardly ever think about it. I wish I felt more sexual than I do, because I enjoy the closeness it brings.”
Most of us assume our partner should act the way we do. By recognising that most men are proactive with sex, while most women are reactive and accepting and respecting those differences, we can allow a woman ‘s type of sexual desire to “count.”
Are you pregnant or nursing a baby now and you are clueless on how to combine breastfeeding with sex? Good news! Breastfeeding has a direct link to sexual frequency. Low sex drive is extremely common after childbirth, and throughout the first year, particularly in breastfeeding women. Many couples don‘t realise the impact childbirth and breastfeeding can have on their sex lives. Prolactin, the hormone that enables women to produce breast milk to also lowers sexual drive, though scientists still can‘t tell us why. Breastfeeding women frequently feel tired and overwhelmed during the early months of breastfeeding. Yet, their husband‘s sex drive hasn‘t lessened. In fact, this is the time that most of the husband’s drive is in the highest because the presence of Prolactin hormone in their wives makes these women sexy, smooth, desirable and irresistible.
For many husbands, their wife‘s attention is now shifted from them to the baby. Her decreased desire to touch, cuddle or have sex may prompt increased pressure from him, which is typically counter-productive. The result is an increasing gap between what he wants and what she wants.
Many couples, whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding, aren‘t prepared for the multiple changes each baby, especially the first, adds to their relationship. They believe they‘ll fasten through those first four to six weeks and afterward resume their sexual relationship without any hindrance. These unrealistic expectations can lead to a great deal of disappointment, frustration, and conflict.
Libido doesn‘t usually ”jump back” to pre-pregnancy levels until several months after a mom quits breastfeeding – sometimes as long as one year after stopping. If couples realise this is common, they can better talk through the timing of stopping, the pros and cons of breastfeeding and bottle feeding, and the adjustments required to adapt as a couple during this time.
Husbands, do you know that most women, including your wife, need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm? More than 60 per cent of women must have direct clitoral stimulation in order to climax. In fact, believing a woman should achieve orgasm through penetrative sex alone is like expecting a man to reach orgasm by only stroking his testicles. Don‘t ignore the facts of anatomy. It is called the ‘sexual trigger’. A woman’s clitoris is similar to the head (glans) of the man‘s penis. Often, the clitoris isn‘t stimulated by penetrative sex. It goes for the man if the head of the penis wasn‘t involved in intercourse, he wouldn‘t come very quickly to orgasm, either!
That doesn‘t mean that a man reaching immediately for his wife‘s clitoris to “speed her up” is a good idea. Women come in all shapes and sizes – physically, emotionally, and particularly, sexually. Therefore, the only safe way to approach her clitoris is to find out what she wants and likes. However, from experience, most women do not like the idea that their husbands go straight to their clitoris primarily while wanting to get them aroused. A rare woman might be okay with “starting” quickly for her clitoris; most will be offended or turned off. Like the penis, the clitoris engorges with blood during arousal. Touching before she’s aroused can be unpleasant, or even painful. That is why the sex engine of most married women get ‘knocked out’ few weeks into their marriage and the husband has yet to call an automobile engineer to help fix it up. Rather they are applying ‘road side’ or ‘over the counter’ remedy which won’t and has not worked for them since.
Women differ greatly in how they enjoy having their clitoris stimulated, and the types of stimulation can vary during the different stages of lovemaking. It‘s helpful (and can be fun) for a wife to show her husband how she wants to be stroked by placing her hand over his and actually putting pressure on his fingers to demonstrate where she likes to be touched, how lightly or firmly, and how slowly or quickly she likes the movements to be.
Till date, many do not know that there‘s a thin line between ‘turn-ons’ and turn-offs. The best sex is when a mate knows the difference. This can be called “brakes and accelerators.” Your sexuality is like driving a car. You can‘t go really far, fast, or without experiencing any damage if you‘re driving with your foot on the brake. Sexual brakes are those things that hinder your arousal or enjoyment of sex. Some common examples are making love when you‘re depressed, worried, extremely anxious, exhausted, feeling criticised by your partner, or trying to be sexually intimate when your in-laws are staying in the bedroom next door, probably eavesdropping.
Sexual accelerators are those things that lead to greater interest and arousal. Some of them might be feeling loved, rested and relaxed, compliments and affirmations about each other‘s character and body, or daydreaming about positive sexual experiences with your spouse is another way.
Some of the biggest problems come when one‘s spouse thinks he‘s accelerating, while his mate is feeling the brakes. An example would be “risky” sexual behaviour –having sex in the room when the door is not under proper lock and key, when you could be bumped into and be “caught,” by your toddler or teenager for instance. Other examples would be engaging in a sexual act that makes your partner feel inhibited and uncomfortable. Every couple will face a sexual problem at some point during their marriage. However, quickly making amend is a life-long secret.
In fact, some estimates say 80 per cent of couples would experience a sexual problem significant enough that they would benefit from sex therapy. Depression, grief, stress, medications, illness, exhaustion, accident, pregnancy and childbirth, parenting, spiritual issues, trauma, hormones, diet, strenuous exercise or lack of it, injury and other things affect our sexuality. Added to that is the reality that all marriages will experience conflicts. Since sexual intimacy is one of the first casualties of marital conflict, it‘s safe to say that all couples will have to solve the problem of their sex lives at some point.
A pleasant side effect of increased serotonin is the release of oxytocin. This little bugger is just phenomenal. It‘s been called “the hormone of love,” “the foundation of romance,” and even “the key to lasting relationships.” In addition, this affects both men and women. Oxytocin lets us bond with the ones we love. Instead of sleepless thoughts of our love interest, we feel peacefully warm, loving, and affectionate towards him or her. The release of oxytocin is often triggered by touch: a hug, back massage, even a gentle brush on the neck. But the hormone can also respond to other types of cues: a whisper in the ear, a song on the radio, or a pleasing fragrance.
When oxytocin is doing its job, we feel the need to romantically or intimately touch the one we love, which, in turn, releases the flow of the hormone in our mate. Suddenly, they feel the need to touch us. Before you know it, we‘ve got a perpetual motion machine fuelled by the cuddle chemical.
The hormone increases our passion, romance and sex. It stimulates testosterone flow. However, most importantly, oxytocin releases more endorphins, our prize for staying in love and sex for so long.
When it comes down to it, “new love” is amphetamine and adrenaline-based. It’s fun and exciting. But for it to last 10, 20, or even 50 years, we must embrace and enjoy the ride that “romantic love” offers us. This part of our relationship is endorphin-based. During “new love,” we love the way we feel, but during “romantic love,” we love the way love feels. Experts say drinking lemon grass regularly at least twice in a day increases sperm counts by 50 per cent. These are my top secrets experts will not easily reveal. So have a wonderful weekend while I remain your bedroom instructor.
Source: Punchng
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