Saturday 16 September 2023

Dealing with a broken heart: Effective ways to heal and move forward



In an article from Vanguard Newspaper, it is emphasized that the aftermath of a relationship can be devastating, leaving one feeling as though their confidence may never be regained. However, there are simple steps that can be taken to start rebuilding one's life. Denis Knowies, a marriage counselor, advises that the initial step is to recognize that the distressing emotions experienced are not indicative of the end, but rather the beginning of the healing process. It is important to allow oneself to go through the stages of despair, anger, denial, and acceptance without suppressing these feelings.

When an individual feels ready, Knowies suggests the following straightforward steps: Instead of fixating on personal shortcomings (which women often tend to blame themselves for), it is beneficial to conduct a thorough analysis of the relationship. This involves reflecting on what aspects worked, what was cherished about the partner, where the relationship went wrong, what could have been done differently, and reassessing current priorities. By identifying what one truly desires from a partner, they are less likely to repeat past patterns and increase the likelihood of success in future relationships.

Gaining perspective is crucial. It is important to realize that rejection is not a reflection of one's entire being. Rebuilding confidence can be achieved by listing personal strengths and achievements. Recognizing oneself as a good parent, a fantastic friend, excelling in one's job, and being found attractive by others can contribute to bolstering self-esteem.

Taking small steps is essential, particularly if one is feeling frightened or low and finds it difficult to venture out at night. Gradually stepping out of the comfort zone is advised. For instance, if a blind date feels overwhelming, consider going out with friends after work instead. By gradually expanding boundaries, confidence can be rebuilt.

Writing down one's thoughts and feelings can be a cathartic experience. Composing a letter to the ex-partner, outlining emotions, can be therapeutic, but it is important not to send it. Keeping the letter in a diary can help track progress. Eventually, looking back, one may wonder why they felt so miserable.

Engaging in self-pampering activities can effectively restore self-esteem. Researchers from the Association For Research Into the Science of Enjoyment (ARISE) have found that experiencing pleasure can enhance the immune system and reduce stress hormones. When revamping one's appearance, caution is advised to avoid making drastic changes that may lead to regret.

A simple way to transform one's look or cover any gray hair that may worsen negative feelings is by trying a new hair color. Newly single individuals often seek significant changes, but it is advisable to gradually transition to darker shades. The ideal hair color can make the eyes more prominent, giving a youthful appearance. Occasionally opting for professionally done makeup can be a worthwhile compromise, providing a rejuvenated look. Semi-permanent hair colors are recommended for a natural way to cover gray hair.

Engaging in physical exercise has numerous benefits during the challenging period following a breakup. Women may feel compelled to transform their bodies, possibly because they believe their weight contributed to the relationship's end, although this is rarely the case. Regardless of the motivation, exercise serves as an excellent mood booster. It triggers the release of endorphins, resulting in a natural high. Research indicates that exercise can be as effective as antidepressants in treating mild depression and can provide individuals with a renewed sense of purpose.

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